This is my daughter at Christmas in her program at yo chien. Its cute right? I went and it was super adorable. She is in the middle class and is the tallest girl by almost a head. I did take photos, but this one was given to me by another mother in class.
Why you ask? Well let me tell you the story.
I don’t think anyone in the world matches the organization and dedication of the Japanese housewife. Like no one. From the moment their child is born (if not before) they are impeccably organised. Their diaper bag will bring forth any possible thing you can think of, any situation you could imagine, they would be prepared for. Their floors you could eat off. One time I lent a set of clothes to Kiera’s friend and I swear to God THE NEXT DAY I got them back, PRESSED AND DRY. It was shocking. I mean, most Japanese people don’t even own dryers, how on EARTH did this woman borrow these clothes and get them back to me DRY in less than 24 hours??
but I digress. I just wanted to paint the picture of just what I am up against.
I think, for the most part I am a competent mother. I am not super mom. I like to bake. I like to cook. But I am not super motivated at keeping my house clean. When I was in the US, I could at least read the hand outs from preschool, and have the ability to speak to the teachers. Well I don’t have that here. and on a regular basis I look like an idiot. I think its a prejudice we all have. I come from a country of immigrants and I know I assume often that people who don’t speak English are less intelligent than me. May or may not be true, but it certainly doesn’t help in attitudes. anyway, I get it all the time. I look like an idiot. I am treated like an idiot. Sometimes it works in my favour.
There is this teacher, who isn’t actually my childs teacher, who has been with the yo chien for 5 years (I THINK!!), which I guess is surpassing a mark. and every mother is suppose to write something nice about the teacher (whom I have had awkward stumbling conversations with at best) on this nice little piece of paper that they’ve taken from a book that can be put back. So they give this to me, and I halfheartedly take it and accidentally “leave it” at school. that isn’t gonna work! no no, the next day they track me down and give it to me and remind me its suppose to be done soon! cough cough.
So I went on Wednesday and I saw some women handing in their little cards, and I get cornered
“Mrs P—-” (I am not overly fond of being referred to by a title that I save for my MIL, but I let Japanese people get away with it)
“yes”
“do you have your card ready? we need it by the 19th at the latest”
and yes I am completely paraphrasing here. most of my conversations are actually one or two words haltingly put together by me or the other party. with my basically non existant Japanese and their limited English, me and the others mothers make quite the pairs.
So I tell them that in fact my card is not done and my biggest issue is that I have no pictures of my child. too bad. so sad.
and its true. I have no printed pictures of Kiera. or very few. When I am at home, I can jump on Walgreens . com and send my photos off to a lab to get picked up an hour later if I so desire. well here I have no idea where to go. yes I have a printer, which currently is low on ink not to mention the fact that I have no clue where to buy paper to print pictures on. so all of this drama to print ONE PHOTO. its ridiculous. I have no idea how Japanese mothers do it. I should ask. oh yeah, I DID, and they couldn’t give me an answer. the whole language barrier thing kicking my ass again.
“well we can get you one!”
“oh, GREAT!” cough cough.
and true to the Japanese housewife’s word, the next day I am handed not one but TWO photos of my darling daughter in her angel costume (which by the way is a story for another day. my darling daughter caused damage to said costume, which made the owner of the costume cry and throw a fit. I didn’t even notice. some threads had some out near the center. I had washed and pressed it. I was suppose to get it DRY CLEANED apparently. my name is mud at yo chien I tell ya, mud)
so, I am debating whether or not to confess that in fact I have TOTALLY LOST the paper on which I was suppose to write these lovely words of encouragement/congratulations for this teachers, or my other option is to cut down a larger piece of paper that someone can just stick into the book, which won’t look quite as pretty. but again, I look like the scattered, disorganised, gaijin, idiot mother that I am 
Seems to me that, since you have no Japanese, and they have no English, you could write anything you want to and it wouldn’t make any difference, would it? OK. Auntie Jan to the rescue:
“Miss __[teacher's name here] is an amazing asset to the yo’chien. We are as blessed as with the cherry blossoms in Spring by her lovely presence. [I'm trying to keep in the Japanese spirit of the thing, here, ok?]
Thank you for your graceful work with our children.”
There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?
Candice, knowing you made reading this even more enjoyable. It is hilarious that God took you, who has always relied so heavily on words to express yourself, and plopped you down in a foreign culture where your words don’t work! I love you.